In the spring of 2009 we made a momentous decision that would change the direction of our lives. Having had many heartbreaking conversations with my two older children we took the decision to go and set up home on our own, just the four of us, leaving their father on his own. I say we, because we talked about it together and they understood my decision, we all talked about what we liked and what we didn't like. The didn't likes outweighed the likes so much that there really was no option.
The whole moving experience was emotional and traumatic for everyone but after a couple of weeks we were used to our new home. The only difficulty was the children had hoped to see their father regularly as he was only a few roads away. He didn't feel the same and now after many difficult "access" visits he has not seen or spoken to them for 21 months.
My three children, Abigail, Matthew and Thomas have always been a bit of a challenge, I say that smiling, tongue in cheek, as that word understates the difficulties and challenges that we are faced with on a daily basis.
Abigail is 10, being 6 weeks premature and suffering with severe gastric reflux, didn't get off to the best start. She is amazingly bright, very chatty with those she is comfortable with, but has major behavioural difficulties which we are still trying to understand along with some pronounced sensory processing difficulties and anxiety issues. As a result Abi finds life in general difficult, however, pop her up on the back of a horse or give her a flute to play and she is in her element. Abi is my go to girl if I want to do a project, she finds me all sorts of facts and memorises them. In fact, she has the most phenomenal memory!
Matthew is 8. Two years ago I was given heartbreaking news that he had Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia, but we are two years into the three years and two months of treatment. The journey has at times been so difficult. He has and continues to cope with more things than many adults ever have to deal with. His life for the last two years has been a complete roller coaster. He has had many dark days where he has questioned life and the universe and still continues to do so. But with help and support, particularly from his best friend, most of the time you would never know what he is going through, and thats how he likes it. Giggling manically, being incredibly mischievous and making everyone laugh because his giggling is so infectious, the ultimate trick player.
Thomas is 6. He had a stroke before he was born and as a result suffers a degree of physical and sensory impairment and he gets incredibly tired. He gets frustrated at times but he never lets it hold him back. He is brutally honest with everyone, offers advice (even when its not wanted) and has a wicked sense of humour. He is my practical solutions, go to boy, invariably coming up with a simple solution, when I'm looking for the more complex.
Its hard work bringing three very special children up on your own, juggling work, illnesses, challenges, isn't that life though? But we do it and its so much easier if you just take a moment each day to stop and smile.
